05 Feb Parenting: It’s Not for Cowards
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Every parent soon realises that having children changes everything and that sooner or later there will be difficult issues to navigate. Ideally, the occasional family flare-up happens against a backdrop of support and understanding and the foundations remain unshaken.
But sometimes one or more members of the family become so disruptive that the unit itself is destabilised; it is one of the most traumatic situations that can be experienced, and family therapy may be needed to get to the root and begin to understand the layers of complexity involved.
The modern family has a ‘fractured’ sense about it and co-parenting has never been more challenging, especially if one is alienating the other (as in Parent Alienation Syndrome). This confuses children and young adults, disrupting those boundaries that are so needed to make them feel safe.
What is Family Therapy?
Family therapy is a specialist therapy underpinned by CBT and psychodynamic therapy. Although it is always better to access therapy earlier, rather than when issues have become entrenched, it can be difficult to decide if assistance is required. There are five aspects of a successfully functioning family that need to be in place and working. These are:
- The safety of everybody involved
- Education and the laws in place for minors
- Health and all that encompasses
- Equal opportunities of development and choice
- Shelter, nourishment and love
Safety is, of course, the most critical issue, and help must be sought immediately if any family member is in danger.
If your family is experiencing adjustment problems, contact me. Your whole family need not attend to make effective changes: much can be achieved with just one or two of you.
Yes, parenting does require bucketfuls of courage; it doesn’t mean you have to go it alone.