15 May Is their Jealousy Dangerous?
Loving relationships and abusive ones often have one thing in common: they start wonderfully. But once the honeymoon period is over, one half of the partnership may start to exhibit signs of possessiveness and jealousy. Is this something to be concerned about? Or is it part and parcel of being in love?
Jealous behaviour is rooted in insecurity, which is a natural part of being in a relationship. But jealousy is also one of the first manifestations of domestic abuse. If your partner asks a few probing questions about your ties with a new friend, that is to be expected, but it’s when they start stepping in to check and control your movements that you should be concerned.
Control is at the heart of every abusive relationship and while not every jealous partner will go on to become abusive, there are many who will start to exhibit classic abusive behaviours. These range from restricting access to money and transport, shouting at and humiliating their partner, throwing objects, making threats and using violence.
Domestic abuse involves a complex mixture of deliberate conscious behaviours and unconscious motivations but it is ultimately a very dangerous situation that can cause psychological damage to the adults and children involved and even lead to serious injury or death.
Getting help for Jealousy
If you are struggling to work through your own feelings of jealousy or are trying to cope with a jealous partner, therapy can give you the space and time you need. Remote therapy via Skype, a service we offer at Acton-Coles Psychology and Counselling, is ideal for situations where visiting rooms is difficult.
Jealousy is also a hallmark of narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). My book, Narcissism & Co-Dependency: Both Sides of the Coin can help you to recognise and escape from a narcissistic relationship.